In one of our discussion this week, we talked about boundaries. This was definitely something relatable to me (though I promise I won't get into any gory details this time, like I did with the last post).
One of my best friends is a guy. We've been really close for a couple of years. We had no problem talking about deep, private things with each other. People often thought we were at LEAST dating, with the way we interacted with each other. It wasn't a rare thing for us to run errands together, or for us to spend time at each other's homes, late into the night, in my spa, on his sofa, cuddling, getting into tickle fights, falling asleep, etc.
However, for the past few months, he has been "courting" someone (not me). When I realised they were exclusive, I knew we could not have the type of relationship I had become use to use having. There were no romantic feelings or intentions between us, but I knew that different aspects of how we were around each other (the cuddling and falling asleep together on the sofa, for example) were no longer appropriate. It was a really hard change, because I really liked what we had. We are best friends, we love each other, we are as good as family. I didn't want us to stop being... so us.
But I knew things had to change. When you get into an exclusive relationship with someone, things change. New boundaries are built. My teacher described it as building a picket fence around the couple. It's not a formidable fence; it's an inviting one. People know they are welcome. But it's a fence, all the same. And it needs to be there. A healthy relationship needs that little picket fence around it. The couple is together, the couple is a unit, but others are welcome to visit.
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